Often times for the sake of team bonding and debriefing, one common activity is ¨highs and lows.¨It´s where you share the best and the worst. So here are my highs and lows for the day:
For my high, tomorrow I get to go with two of my friends to a city about an hour outside of Madrid called Toledo. It is a small historic village from what I´ve been told. Picture coblestone streets, charming old buildings, and a historic site wherever the eye goes. Granted this is all based off of what I´ve heard. There is even a monastary that has home made pasteries, yum! I´m definitely looking forward to taking a day vacation and doing some exploring and touring. Photos soon to come!
Now for the low. It´s pretty bad. One of the things that was holding me back from coming to Spain was the fact that I would be missing my youngest brother´s high school graduation. My youngest brother is more than just someone that I grew up with and am obligated to love. No, truely he is one of my best friends. We have a sweet friendship that I treasure so much. How I miss him. Well yesterday was his graduation and the plan was to watch it online. Here is the low: I slept through my alarm to wake up at 4:00 am to watch it. Yes I missed it and was so disappointed. Ignacio´s temper tantrum first thing in the morning didn´t help much with my emotional break down. Whew, what a morning. But in that moment of being so homesick and disappointed I found myself learning in a new way what it means to cling to Jesus.
I can take comfort in knowing that Jesus knows what it´s like to be homesick and that He can comfort me. This may sound elementary, but it is so reassuring that I don´t follow a way of faith that challenges me to set aside any aspect of who I am. I serve a God who sees and knows my needs and by the work of Christ and the power of the Holy Spirit intercedes.
I´m reading a book called ¨Coffee Shop Conversations.¨It´s been really good, especially for my time in Spain. Basically it´s a guide of how to see the world as Jesus did, and love other people in a manner that leads to worship. It´s been challenging and pruning.
More to come, hopefully with photos too!
Friday, June 17, 2011
Friday, June 10, 2011
Just Laugh
There are those moments when you simply have no control over the situation and all that you can do is just laugh.
These moments have come many a time for me and have ranged from the simple moments of happiness to the extreme of ackwardness and discomfort, and again all you can do is just laugh.
The simple moment of happiness would be the youngest of my host family coming in my room Monday through Friday at 8:30am to wake me in the morning. He climbs on top of me, and plays our morning game promptly. I honestly have no idea what it´s called. It´s an electronic hand held game in which we both easily find entertainment. Now here I am every morning with gross morning breathe, a lion´s mess of hair, a dirty face...needless to say I don´t like my Sunday best, and here is this enduring child sitting on my stomach playing this game, all you can do is just laugh and enjoy the moment.
Today was my first day of getting lost in the city. Now I did not laugh at the time, but as with most similar situations was able to later. Granted getting lost really isn´t a new experience for me. I completely went to the wrong neighborhood to meet up with other interns. As frustrated as I was, it was good for me to walk on those streets. I live in one of the newer parts of town. So it is clean, modern, and wealthy and educated families live in my area. Let´s just say where I was this afternoon was on the other side of the tracks. It was good for me to have an awareness of what the other side looks like. Yes, I laughed at how close I was to my destination, literally it was just around the corner, but found myself walking away with an awareness of another people group in the city I live in.
These moments have come many a time for me and have ranged from the simple moments of happiness to the extreme of ackwardness and discomfort, and again all you can do is just laugh.
The simple moment of happiness would be the youngest of my host family coming in my room Monday through Friday at 8:30am to wake me in the morning. He climbs on top of me, and plays our morning game promptly. I honestly have no idea what it´s called. It´s an electronic hand held game in which we both easily find entertainment. Now here I am every morning with gross morning breathe, a lion´s mess of hair, a dirty face...needless to say I don´t like my Sunday best, and here is this enduring child sitting on my stomach playing this game, all you can do is just laugh and enjoy the moment.
Today was my first day of getting lost in the city. Now I did not laugh at the time, but as with most similar situations was able to later. Granted getting lost really isn´t a new experience for me. I completely went to the wrong neighborhood to meet up with other interns. As frustrated as I was, it was good for me to walk on those streets. I live in one of the newer parts of town. So it is clean, modern, and wealthy and educated families live in my area. Let´s just say where I was this afternoon was on the other side of the tracks. It was good for me to have an awareness of what the other side looks like. Yes, I laughed at how close I was to my destination, literally it was just around the corner, but found myself walking away with an awareness of another people group in the city I live in.
Longing for Depth
It is starting to settle wthin me that I am living in Spain.
Yes, over four weeks later, it´s about time the realization hit.
I find myself being at a strage crossroad. I am in a country with beautiful countryside, detailed architecture, history, delicious food, and ,once welcomed, loving people. I love being able to use the Metro, walk around and explore, and discover this new land I am living in. The food is cheap and delicious, not a bad combination at all. I love the Spanish greeting-two kisses, one on each side of the cheek; when I walk away from the introduction, I feel as though I really met the person rather than just a passive handshake. I love that a historic cite, literally is just around the corner with the use of public transportation. Evenings are enjoyable, filled with elderly couples walking in the park enjoying the warm weather.
However, at the same time I feel so distant from those around me. It is this weird feeling that even though I am treading on the same ground, our worlds are far apart. More and more I realize how different my life looks compared to that which is black and white, because I am redeemed and reflect Light.
It is almost like in the book ¨The Giver.¨Everything seems like a facade. On a surface level it seems perfect, but then deep underneath there is so much more taking place. No one really has a purpose to live, they just fulfill that which comes with their given status. There is one boy, however, that recieves the gift of memory. He begins to feel, see color, and experience new sensations that no one else in his world knows of, expect the one who shared the gift with him. I feel like this so perfectly defines a part of my life right now.
I am in a world that is a false portrayal of paradise. The purpose of living seems futile. It seems like an endless cycle in the attempts of trying to be a good person and live what would seem to be a good life. There is no hope. There is no purpose. There is no color. By Grace, I have recieved the gift of ¨memory.¨Yes, there may be pain felt and a greater cost with this gift, than just living through the motions. But oh how I would much rather live in this Light than continue in such darkness. I pray, I plead that those who are in that world so far from my own, would be able to cross over the divide and come to such Beauty. I pray that they too could come into this Light, and worship.
Yes, over four weeks later, it´s about time the realization hit.
I find myself being at a strage crossroad. I am in a country with beautiful countryside, detailed architecture, history, delicious food, and ,once welcomed, loving people. I love being able to use the Metro, walk around and explore, and discover this new land I am living in. The food is cheap and delicious, not a bad combination at all. I love the Spanish greeting-two kisses, one on each side of the cheek; when I walk away from the introduction, I feel as though I really met the person rather than just a passive handshake. I love that a historic cite, literally is just around the corner with the use of public transportation. Evenings are enjoyable, filled with elderly couples walking in the park enjoying the warm weather.
However, at the same time I feel so distant from those around me. It is this weird feeling that even though I am treading on the same ground, our worlds are far apart. More and more I realize how different my life looks compared to that which is black and white, because I am redeemed and reflect Light.
It is almost like in the book ¨The Giver.¨Everything seems like a facade. On a surface level it seems perfect, but then deep underneath there is so much more taking place. No one really has a purpose to live, they just fulfill that which comes with their given status. There is one boy, however, that recieves the gift of memory. He begins to feel, see color, and experience new sensations that no one else in his world knows of, expect the one who shared the gift with him. I feel like this so perfectly defines a part of my life right now.
I am in a world that is a false portrayal of paradise. The purpose of living seems futile. It seems like an endless cycle in the attempts of trying to be a good person and live what would seem to be a good life. There is no hope. There is no purpose. There is no color. By Grace, I have recieved the gift of ¨memory.¨Yes, there may be pain felt and a greater cost with this gift, than just living through the motions. But oh how I would much rather live in this Light than continue in such darkness. I pray, I plead that those who are in that world so far from my own, would be able to cross over the divide and come to such Beauty. I pray that they too could come into this Light, and worship.
Thursday, June 2, 2011
Over the Great Divide
One of my favorite movies of all time is Little Women. It has been one of the movies that I can easily watch just about anytime or anywhere, despite what others may say.
As I have just transitioned into an entirely new chapter of life that is so new and foreign to me, there is one scene from this film that I have found myself relating to. It is when Jo, the wild vagabond of the March family, leaves home and goes to be a tutor for a family in the big city of London. She identifies herself as ¨crossing over a great divide.¨ She felt alone, challenged, excited, and yet the opportunity in crossing over offered so much growth. All this to say that is exactly where I am at.
I am a nanny for three children. However, whenever I am introduced to people, I am introduced as ¨The professor of English, but she does not speak Spainish.¨ Yes I know its quite the introduction, espcially when you understand what they say about you after such and you´re still working on your undergrad. I will say it is humbling to be able to generally understand what is being said, yet really not be able to communicate back in the same tongue. I am learning how to live out Love.
I have crossed over my ¨great divide¨ if you will. The challenges of language and building relationships are new. Economically I am in a new class. In Europe it would seem that there is a social caste system, like in India. Let´s just say I´m living with the Brahmans, the highest caste. This is new for me and is another culture in itself. I have never had a housemaide, someone to wash my clothes and cook my food for me. Having a dad that travels for his own pleasure to the Canary Islands for the weekend is foreign as well. I am learning how to continually say ¨It is just different,¨ while allowing myself to continually lift those up around me to the Father.
On the other hand, one of my favorite additions to this new season is my morning alarm clock. It goes off at about 8:30am and sounds like the patting a little feet and then becomes a whisper which leads to a giggle. The youngest of the children I´m watching likes to come in and wake me up in the morning. His name is Ignacio. He is effectionately referred to as Gordito. It is very sweet, and who wouldn´t want to wake up to a cute smiling face that just wants to say ¨Buenos Días?¨
In each day I pray that the glory of the Father is seen and exalted on high. May we all simply be clay in the hands of the Potter, ready to be molded for His purpose alone.
As I have just transitioned into an entirely new chapter of life that is so new and foreign to me, there is one scene from this film that I have found myself relating to. It is when Jo, the wild vagabond of the March family, leaves home and goes to be a tutor for a family in the big city of London. She identifies herself as ¨crossing over a great divide.¨ She felt alone, challenged, excited, and yet the opportunity in crossing over offered so much growth. All this to say that is exactly where I am at.
I am a nanny for three children. However, whenever I am introduced to people, I am introduced as ¨The professor of English, but she does not speak Spainish.¨ Yes I know its quite the introduction, espcially when you understand what they say about you after such and you´re still working on your undergrad. I will say it is humbling to be able to generally understand what is being said, yet really not be able to communicate back in the same tongue. I am learning how to live out Love.
I have crossed over my ¨great divide¨ if you will. The challenges of language and building relationships are new. Economically I am in a new class. In Europe it would seem that there is a social caste system, like in India. Let´s just say I´m living with the Brahmans, the highest caste. This is new for me and is another culture in itself. I have never had a housemaide, someone to wash my clothes and cook my food for me. Having a dad that travels for his own pleasure to the Canary Islands for the weekend is foreign as well. I am learning how to continually say ¨It is just different,¨ while allowing myself to continually lift those up around me to the Father.
On the other hand, one of my favorite additions to this new season is my morning alarm clock. It goes off at about 8:30am and sounds like the patting a little feet and then becomes a whisper which leads to a giggle. The youngest of the children I´m watching likes to come in and wake me up in the morning. His name is Ignacio. He is effectionately referred to as Gordito. It is very sweet, and who wouldn´t want to wake up to a cute smiling face that just wants to say ¨Buenos Días?¨
In each day I pray that the glory of the Father is seen and exalted on high. May we all simply be clay in the hands of the Potter, ready to be molded for His purpose alone.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)